Playing For Life - How to Keep a Child Engaged in Music Lessons From Early Childhood Through Teens

How many parents have given their children years ofthrive from the envelopment of warm feelings, positive
music lessons, only to have the child one dayattention, and sense of accomplishment that they feel
announce: "I quit!"after a performance, (not to mention camaraderie with
It can be heartbreaking for the parent, not leasttheir fellow performers). Whether it's performing in a
because of the thousands of dollars they may havestudio recital, a solo competition; or with their youth
invested in lessons and instruments.orchestra at carnegie hall, performances are key to
But inevitably, years later, the former teen will say, "Ikeeping up a child's interest, and improving their playing.
never should have quit the violin (or cello or viola)! I wishThe vast majority of children who only do private
my parents had forced me to stick with it!"lessons, and don't have any performance opportunities,
Being a music school director for the past ten years,will eventually lose interest and drop out.
and the parent of three (an 8-year-old, a teenager, and5. Stay positive! When in doubt, do not shout, berate,
a former teen), I have seen this sort of thing happenbelittle, or threaten to drop the lessons. None of the
again and again. So I have made it one of my primarynegative stuff works, and it will just lead to more
missions to create an environment that keeps kids infrustration for you, and your child. Even when it feels
music, from tot through teen years. Here are some oflike your child is not meeting your or the teacher's
my most powerful techniques for keeping childrenexpectation, remain positive. Your child may just be
involved in, and passionate about, their music.going through a rough patch.
1. Start them young - on piano. I have found thatTo get through it, with the little ones, offer small
children who begin with piano, and then come into myrewards for practicing daily or weekly. It could be a
violin or other stringed instrument class, always dosticker or a trip to the toy store. In their teens, you can
better than children who have not had early pianorelax their practice schedule if it feels like too much of
training. Violin and other stringed instruments area burden. When my teen son decided that he wanted
difficult, due to the many aspects needed to focus onto quit saxophone, his teacher suggested that he just
at once. It is also physically challenging. Piano is a lotpractice five minutes a day. He did this for over a year,
easier to grasp for pre-k kids. Once the studentcontinuing to participate in various orchestras and jazz
already has a basic understanding of music, includinggroups. It worked! He continued playing saxophone
note-reading, rhythm, and practicing, they are freer tothrough high school, and received a huge music
focus on the technical challenges of the stringedscholarship to college. Although he has decided not to
instrument. I now require tots to take my beginningmake music his career, he continues to make money
piano class, and i encourage parents to keep thosewith his instrument through teaching and gigging.
lessons going until they begin in my violin class.6. Summer and school breaks are a great time to
2. Don't go it alone! How many parents enroll theirmove ahead! Rather than taking a break from music
children in private music lessons, only to have themlessons, vacation is actually a great time to make
refuse to go because they don't know anyone? Yetheadway. It's an opportunity for life-changing musical
the same child will participate in almost any activity if atadventures or just plain getting lots accomplished. Enroll
least one friend is present! Group beginning musicyour child in a summer music program that offers
classes can be a lot of fun for the younger set, andsomething different in the way of lessons and
particularly ideal for children age 3½ years through 5orchestra or chamber music. For teens, there are
½, depending on their maturity.many programs away from home, in beautiful settings
3. Kids who play together like to play together! Thein the mountains or countryside. The more your child
more opportunities the children have to play the moreimproves the more they will like playing, and the more
they will improve. In addition to private lessons, as soonthey will feel good about themselves. It's the child who
as the child is eligible, we place him or her in alags behind who will want to stop practicing or worse,
performing group. At our school, graduates of ourquit.
beginning violin class will enroll in private lessons and in7. Don't over schedule. Although we want our children
our training orchestra. More advanced players go intoto be well-rounded, it's better for their psyche for them
our more advanced children's orchestra. Olderto excel in one thing. And if that one thing is playing a
students are encouraged to join regional youthmusical instrument, it will have tremendous benefits. Skill
orchestras. Ninety-nine percent of the time, once theon a musical instrument sets them apart from their
initial excitement of playing an instrument has passed, itpeers. They will begin to identify themselves as a
is the group playing that the kids will remain excitedmusician, which is great for their self-esteem. Excelling
about. Children love to be with other children!at a musical instrument - especially strings - will help in
Participation leads to more practicing, especially if theapplications for arts schools and programs, and
conductor or musical director connects well witheventually, colleges! Most colleges have orchestras
children.with many chairs to fill. There is usually a need for
In addition to private lessons and orchestra, manymany more violin, viola, cello and bass players!
participate in our chamber music program. I started the8. Stay committed. Staying committed to your child's
chamber music program with four kindergarten girlsmusic education may be the hardest part of raising
who knew each other from orchestra. After a fewyour child, but i can say from first-hand experience, it's
months of playing together they named themselvesworth the it! The experiences your child will have being
the bff ('best friends forever') they have been playinga musician will shape their lives (not to mention their
together for 3 years by now. They've performed forbrains) in a way that cannot be duplicated any other
our us congressman, senior centers, local schools, andway. Music promotes self-esteem, teamwork, and
even at our local farmer's market. What I'vegood study habits, and it has shaped the lives of many
discovered is that the kids in the quartet wereyoungsters in a most profound way.
developing faster and playing better, so i set out toTaking all these steps will make it far more likely that
form more groups and a chamber music program.your child will have lifelong appreciation for their
4. Keep em' in the spotlight! It is rare that a kid doesn'tinstrument and for music.