| The affirmations a person uses depend on many | | | | player." He or she chooses to diminish the importance |
| factors. What is the person trying to accomplish? | | | | of the current state and focus, instead, on the future |
| Where is he or she now in relation to that goal or | | | | possibility. |
| dream? What is their belief factor? Is he or she | | | | Part of the confusion, candidly, comes from affirmation |
| aspiring to something big or just looking for incremental | | | | gurus who promote the idea that your affirmations |
| improvement? | | | | must be adhered to with unshakable belief to make a |
| One of the biggest knocks critics have against | | | | difference. Doubting - the cardinal sin of affirmationdom |
| affirmations is that they encourage unrealistic thinking. | | | | - must never be allowed to rise or else the magic |
| It is ridiculous, they say, to encourage a sixth grader | | | | potion will be spoiled. |
| who can barely play "Hot Crossed Buns" on the | | | | People are people. Some days we believe in our |
| saxophone to use an affirmation like, "I am a | | | | dreams fervently and other days we completely lose |
| world-class saxophone player". That's just delusional, | | | | sight of them. That's not being negative that's just |
| they argue, to have a child believing something so out | | | | being human. The path is not lost by one moment of |
| of touch with reality. | | | | doubt. |
| I absolutely agree! | | | | This affirmation may or may not be appropriate for |
| "What," you say, "I thought you were in the business of | | | | the sixth grader in question. It depends on how he or |
| promoting affirmations and encouraging others to | | | | she resolves the cognitive dissonance associated with |
| follow their dreams?" I am. And, I still agree with those | | | | it. If he or she cannot come to terms with the disparity, |
| critics. Oh, I believe emphatically that affirmations are | | | | then an affirmation like "I am becoming a world class |
| for everyone, but I do not believe every affirmation is | | | | saxophone player" or "I am a better saxophone player |
| for every person. | | | | every day" may be more acceptable and reduce the |
| Yes. The critics are correct. This affirmation is | | | | cognitive dissonance. |
| completely unrealistic for any sixth grader who | | | | Conversely, the previous affirmation is ideal for a |
| believes it is unrealistic. | | | | college student majoring in music performance on the |
| They are also correct that a smart sixth grader is | | | | saxophone. That person has already put in many |
| probably going to doubt the affirmation at some point. | | | | years and is now an expert on the instrument. He or |
| Sooner or later the sixth grader using this affirmation | | | | she may be planning a career playing the saxophone. |
| may have the thought, "I can't even play 'Hot Crossed | | | | That college student certainly can realistically aspire to |
| Buns'. I'm not a world class saxophone player." | | | | becoming a world-class sax player. |
| These two pieces of information do not match up. The | | | | Here is what I have learned from more than 17 years |
| sixth grader, like most human beings, will search for a | | | | experience working with affirmations. There really are |
| way to make the ideas congruent. When this happens | | | | two classes of affirmations - aspirational and |
| it is decision time for the sixth grader and his or her | | | | incremental. |
| dream of being a world-class saxophonist. Whether | | | | Aspirational affirmations are your "big thinking" |
| they know it or not the critics are citing and the sixth | | | | affirmations. They are the ones that remind you that |
| grader is experiencing a well-known psychological | | | | something far greater than right now lies within you. |
| phenomenon called cognitive dissonance. | | | | That knowing is not for anyone to label as delusional or |
| This theory states that when we hold two incongruent | | | | unrealistic. It depends on you and your belief. |
| pieces of knowledge in our minds there is a very | | | | Incremental affirmations are affirmations that are more |
| strong psychological impulse to bring the two conflicting | | | | finely tuned. They focus on specifics and immediate |
| thoughts into agreement. The idea being that our sixth | | | | steps. They are the trees to the aspirational |
| grader cannot hold the thought, "I can't even play 'Hot | | | | affirmations' forest. |
| Crossed Buns'," in his or her mind while at the same | | | | In my view, they are both part of a healthy affirmation |
| time holding the idea, "I am a world class saxophone | | | | diet. Just like protein and calcium serve two different |
| player." | | | | but beneficial roles in the body. Both kinds of |
| The classic example is the mother on the news who | | | | affirmations add value to your over all growth. One is |
| cannot reconcile the baby she brought into the world | | | | today's weather forecast and the other is the long |
| with the possibility that he may have committed a | | | | range forecast. |
| crime. So, she believes in his innocence even against | | | | Let me illustrate the difference with a couple |
| overwhelming evidence. | | | | examples. |
| Now, here is where the critics' logic fails. They assume, | | | | A high school quarterback with big dreams might use |
| I suppose, that the only option for this newly | | | | both of the following affirmations: |
| self-aware sixth grader is to stop using this unrealistic | | | | Aspirational: "I am the next John Elway." |
| affirmation and stop pursuing such lofty and unrealistic | | | | Incremental: "My completion percentage is improving |
| dreams. Basically, "Give it up, kid, there's no chance." | | | | each and every game." |
| The cognitive dissonance theorists tell us that there | | | | A person trying to climb out of depression might use |
| are actually three options (besides "getting real") open | | | | both of the following affirmations: |
| to resolve this dilemma. | | | | Aspirational: "I am completely happy with all aspects of |
| - Change beliefs - the sixth grader can change one or | | | | my life." |
| both beliefs to be more in line. "I know I'm not a | | | | Incremental: "Today I am putting one foot in front of |
| world-class saxophonist right now, but I can be | | | | the other and moving forward." |
| someday." He or she admits the first fact and changes | | | | A person focusing on creating a better financial future |
| the condition for the second to bring them into | | | | might use both of the following affirmations: |
| congruence. | | | | Aspirational: "My million dollar idea is on its way to me |
| - Adding beliefs - the sixth grader can think, "It's true I | | | | right now." |
| cannot play "Hot Crossed Buns". It's true that I'm not a | | | | Incremental: "Today I am paying my bills on time." |
| world-class sax player right now." "It's also true that | | | | It's not about being unrealistic. It's about using the very |
| Charlie Parker was not a world-class saxophone | | | | real power of your thoughts to support your immediate |
| player in the sixth grade and look what he | | | | goals and your long term dreams. |
| accomplished." | | | | So, if you are a sixth grade saxophone player with a |
| - Alter the importance of the beliefs - the sixth grader | | | | passion to be the world's greatest saxophonist, I say |
| can think, "It doesn't matter that I can't play "Hot | | | | go for it! One thing is for sure. None of your critics will |
| Crossed Buns" right now. I will be able to some day. I | | | | be there to beat you out! |
| still have it in me to be a world-class saxophone | | | | Be peaceful Be prosperous! |