| "Alas, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak..." | | | | my talent shone through. I played almost flawlessly, |
| -Jeremiah 1:6 | | | | missing just one cymbal crash that was never noticed. |
| All during high school, I wanted to fit in, but never did, | | | | The guys played well too, and we drew people back |
| for various reasons. I wanted to do everything, yet did | | | | into the small group of those employees daring enough |
| very little due to lack of confidence. I was musically | | | | to stay in the first place. Throngs of people came |
| inclined, playing various instruments, but mainly stuck to | | | | back to see what was going on, and who was that on |
| the baritone saxophone because my jazz band | | | | the drums?" |
| teacher, Bert Hughes, loved the fact that I was the | | | | It was ME! I felt great! When the song ended, I put my |
| only female to play so well in one of his bands. My | | | | sticks in my back pocket and started to get up. |
| passion, though, was drumming. He and I went round | | | | "Oh, no!" I was told. Our manager came up and told |
| and round; him telling me I was more talented with the | | | | me to sit back down and play! Well, who was I to |
| sax, and me pleading for chances to be a more active | | | | disobey a direct order? I dutifully sat back down and |
| drummer. I'd sneak in at football games to the | | | | we just jammed for 30 or so minutes. |
| drummer's line, produce my own sticks and convince | | | | When it was all over, droves of people came to me |
| one of the snare drummers to let me play a song. I got | | | | wanting to know "Where did you learn to play like |
| noticed; one of my yearbooks shows me in my | | | | that?" and "Why did I hide such talent?" |
| marching band uniform, holding a pair of sticks in my | | | | Rex approached me the next week asking if I'd be |
| hand asking "What song are we playing?" | | | | interested in playing with his group at his Church. Now, |
| After high school, I dabbled with drumming. I've had | | | | I'm not a Church goer. I have faith, I have beliefs, and |
| several sets over the years, and actually played with a | | | | I'm a very spiritual person, but as a child and teen, I |
| heavy metal group right after high school, but left when | | | | was forced into Church, and the woman who adopted |
| I found out they were a less than desirable group of | | | | me was very cruel to me whenever we went to |
| men. They were actually working towards a record | | | | Church, to the point of reducing me to tears every |
| then. | | | | Sunday. I still am uncomfortable in any Church, so I |
| I played with people I met in the Army; just jamming, | | | | celebrate my life and my faith privately, but faithfully. |
| and having a good time. I had decided right after high | | | | Rex was insistent; they needed me. I finally agreed, but |
| school that I'd never be the famous drummer I'd so | | | | didn't feel good about it. Playing with brushes in a quiet |
| dreamed of, but that was fine- I just loved to play. | | | | church just wasn't my thing. Get me in a wide open |
| After I got out of the Army, I went about 6 years | | | | space with electric guitars and loud music, and let me |
| without so much as holding a drum stick. That changed | | | | feel free to really play, now that's my thing! |
| when I came to work for the company I'm with now. | | | | I prayed about it, and slowly felt better about the whole |
| A man there, Rex, and his wife belonged to a Church | | | | thing. I even brought my kids to rehearsals and Church |
| where they played for the Lord every Sunday. They | | | | on Sundays. We did this for a few months, and it |
| had a drummer, guitarists, a clarinetist, a pianist, and | | | | came time for the Christmas show, which I was |
| Rex played trumpet. They played 'Church music', | | | | looking forward to. |
| something I'd never tried because I have a very heavy | | | | The day came, and I was nervous. We had picked |
| hand and foot when it comes to drumming. I did play | | | | several songs, most of which I was to play quietly and |
| heavy metal, after all! A few years ago, their drummer | | | | in the background. I just really didn't want to mess |
| came on levy for Korea. Around the same time, our | | | | things up! There were many elderly folks in the |
| company had a picnic where employees would get | | | | congregation, and they were used to certain things. |
| together and play, if they wanted. Someone heard I | | | | The last song worried me because it was 'Rock |
| was a drummer and wanted me to play. | | | | around the Christmas Tree' and it would be |
| "No way!" I said. "I haven't played in years, and I really | | | | considerably louder than they were used to. I had |
| just messed around with drumming". | | | | someone apologize in advance for me because I |
| They persuaded me, and a couple of them came over | | | | knew I would be loud. Right before my cue, I sent a |
| one night to rehearse. What I ended up doing was | | | | fervent prayer up: |
| sitting there for 2 hours while they tuned up and | | | | "Lord, please, I'm here to play for You! Please lend me |
| argued back and forth what they were going to play. | | | | your hands so I might do that." |
| When they finally left, I had played all of 5 minutes, and | | | | We got going, and immediately I found myself playing |
| had not made it through a single song. The picnic was | | | | quite loud. I kept looking over to the other members of |
| the next day, and I was to play 'Sweet Home | | | | the group, watching for the all too familiar signs that I |
| Alabama' by Lynyrd Skynyrd. | | | | was too loud. There were none. |
| Talk about nerves being shot! That next day, I | | | | I kept watching the congregation for signs I was too |
| chickened out, and let some management member | | | | loud. There were none. |
| play all the bubble gum songs. I said I'd play 'Sweet | | | | Then something amazing happened; so amazing that I |
| Home Alabama' and that was it. | | | | almost dropped my sticks in the middle of it all. |
| Well, they were awful. Not having rehearsed together, | | | | Some of the congregation, I mean folks older than 60, |
| everything was way off. People left in groups after | | | | were getting up to dance! Right there, in a Methodist |
| just a few minutes. Our manager was thoroughly | | | | Church, these normally proper and reserved folks |
| embarrassed, but he had to stay. Finally, they called | | | | were dancing! I looked over at Rex in amazement; he |
| me up there. I shook my head no. They called me | | | | winked back and we played on. |
| again, so I walked up to the drums on rubber legs, and | | | | The louder we got; the more into the song we got, the |
| said a quick prayer for the Lord to give me the | | | | more they danced. We played; they danced. |
| strength to get through this, and to please make it fast! | | | | I played for the Lord that day. My voice came through |
| They had already started to play, so as soon as I sat | | | | my drums. Everyone there heard my voice. It was |
| down, I just came in on the next beat. | | | | loud, clear, and flawless. And it was all for my Lord. |
| I'd never played in front of a group of people as | | | | Lord, lend me your voice so that I may share my joy- |
| diverse as this, but thankfully, my shaking was invisible | | | | and voice- with others. |
| as I played. After a minute, my shaking stopped and | | | | |